Self-Harm: It's More Than What You Might Think

By: Debra Brent

Today (March 1st) is Self-Injury/Self-Harm Awareness Day.

I wanted to touch on this topic a little not only because I have used this an an unhealthy coping mechanism, but to also talk a little bit about those behaviors you may think are not in the realm of self-harm, but in fact they are.

Personally, I have run the gamut of self-harm behaviors, including using cutting as a way to cope.

I began doing so in my teen years, primarily at that time as a way of self-punishment. You could find me on break, out in the parking lot in my car cutting my wrist after making a mistake at work. As I grew older, it became a means of letting out the overwhelming emotions inside of me. At times, I feel like a volcano about to erupt and as soon as I would draw blood, it was like I went from 100 to 0 in a split second. It was the quickest and most calming way I knew at the time to bring myself down off that proverbial ledge.

It was also one of the most dangerous.

Not only can cutting or burning become addictive, it can lead to permanent scarring, infections and even death.

What many don't realize is that these types of self-injury behaviors are not attention seeking (as most attempt to cover them up), a ploy for sympathy, a form of revenge or a manipulative behavior. They are, in fact, an unhealthy way to control the tornadic spiral of emotions swirling around inside of us that nothing else we find will seem to calm.

Self-injury is not something to be joked about or romanticized, but seen in it's true context: A very, VERY unhealthy way to cope for someone who is struggling internally more severely than most could ever imagine.

What You May Not Think Is Self-Harm

Besides the obvious self-harm behaviors that can be seen by the naked eye, those of us struggling may be involved in other behaviors that too are unhealthy, but also can cause harm to one's self in differing ways.

Some of these include:

• Gambling

• Drinking

• Smoking/Vaping

• Drugs

• Prescription Abuse

• Perfectionism

• People Pleasing

• Binge Eating/Starving

• Avoidance

• Distraction

• Isolation

• Self-Sabotage

While those such as drinking, drugs, smoking, etc. are pretty straightforward in the health implications they hold, others may not seem a form of self-harm because their effects aren't as obviously seen as the others.

For example, when it comes to perfectionism, you are not only setting yourself to an unattainable standard, but the effects of not reaching this can often lead to depression, anxiety, other unhealthy coping mechanisms, isolation, distraction and avoidance. When you take that into consideration, the physical and emotional effects of perfectionism can in and of itself be an avalanche of health problems waiting to happen.

Same with isolation. This can easily lead to depression, sleep disturbances, other unhealthy ways to cope, anxiety, depression along with strained and/or loss of relationships.

The fact of the matter is that ANYTHING you are doing to avoid dealing with the underlying causes of these behaviors is in one way, shape or form harming your physical and/or emotional health.

Healing is Feeling

The main reason most of us turn to such unhealthy coping mechanisms is because healing hurts.

We want to avoid feeling the pain all over again. But in actuality, what we are doing by running instead of facing can hurt us even more in the long run.

Healing is hard, plain and simple, but you are also stronger than you think 💪💗

Once you can recognize those behaviors you continue to find yourself using to cope, you can then discover what's at the root of such pain and begin to not only learn healthier ways to work through the trauma, but learn and walk through the process it takes to finally heal.

Sending love, hugzz and prayers,

Debra